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We get depressed when we feel we are cut off from who we really are. Your may feel alone even when people you love are close around you. Most often it is because we have lost all self-esteem. We cannot see ourselves as anthing other than 'wrong'. We have beliefs about who we should be and how we should live our lives, but often this is not who we really are. It is important for your friend to find out what things matter most to him. What do you value above all else - then to check that these are your values and not someone elses. Very often people who are depressed want to please others and give over their lives to others, but it does not make them happy.
Building up or re-building self-esteem is the most important thing. The only way we can do this is to set ourselves initially small achievable tasks or goals and gradually build up from there. Not achieving a task can be taken as a 'failure' so these need to be small steps. At the same time there is often a flip-side to things and 'failures' can be turned into successes. If we ask say to ourselves: 'If I failed this task, then I failed it to learn from it - the failure was intentional - so it was not a failure after all. Something better will come of it'.
It helps to understand that everything happens for a reason, but we don't always find out what that reason is, although sometimes we do find out and quite soon, if we are open to it.
The greatest obstacle is FEAR. We fear a loss or a failure, but nothing is going to happen one way or another without it giving us the lesson we need most. We think we have a conscious choice - but very often we have already made the choice unconsciously.
To regain our "self", we need to reconnect with the higher purposes of a higher power - be it God, our higher self or consciousness. We gain strength from the 'power' that 'we' have at that higher level - and learn to trust in it.
Methods of reconnection -- there are many websites such as this one...
- Meditation
- Drinking more water
- Seeking spiritual guidance from others
- Visualisations
We are not bound by external influences, we do have a choice - we just need to reconnect with that power and re-gain self-esteem.
Remember: The Wizard of Oz - you have everything you need already.
I was a Sufferer of depression for many years. My husband died 3 years ago after 15 suicide attempts in as many years - we always said who ever died first would find a way to get important information back to the other. Since his death I have sought to find the answers that may not be able to help him but could help others... but I'm still working on it..
