I'm new to this website...but I thought I woulkd start off with a BANG!  So here is what is on my mind tonight...

I am learning that life is really about the journey...not the destination.  This is a constant lesson for me...especially as I am a bit of a control freak...BUT...I try, and I am constantly reminding myself to live in the HERE & NOW....and to be joyful! 

I just read the book....EAT, PRAY, LOVE. (by the way, I would recommend this book.)  It is a thought provoking read.  There were many things that struck me, but one thing in particular that is sticking with me in the shadow of the New Years is a mention of a woman who, when traveling to a place or coming across something that she liked, she would say, "I HAVE TO REMEMBER THIS AND COME BACK TO THIS GREAT PLACE."  The author was able to gently point out that this woman was missing the point...SHE WAS ALREADY THERE!...She just needed to appreciate it at that moment and find happiness in the moment at hand.  

This sentiment is important to me right now, and as I am finding myself "drifting" in this New Year....it means even more.  I have been unable to make specific New Years resolutions and have even posted about how unstable I am feeling.  Yet, I am finding that I am not protesting the unstable ground that I am standing on...sounds a bit "fishy", I know....But I've been thinking that there is a reason for it, and despite the fact that I like things neat, tidy and clean, even in my head...I'm trying to remember that there is a reason for this sense of disturbance in my world. 

So...tonight, a dear friend of mine called and was conferring with me about how odd and out of character it is for me to be floating about like I seem to be doing.  She then talked about some of the "adventures" in my life this past year, and the crazy schedule that I've been keeping.  She then went on to add that my indecisiveness didn't seem odd to her, but indicated that I was open to HAPPINESS this year.  I may not need or specifics or lists, but may just be learning to get comfortable in "just waiting"...and the fact that I am a bit uneasy with it may simply be a result of how how different it is to me - my spirit's reaction to a shift to something new.

This makes sense to me and I am feeling stronger and safer in my own space after speaking with her.  I am again amazed at her insight...Actually, I'm not amazed....this insight and outreached, open hand is something that I have come treasure from her.  While I sometimes think that she is the type of friend that sees things I miss, I'm coming to realize that she is more than that.  She is a gifted spirit who reaches out and guides me to the place that I already know I need to be....She supports my movement and guides without directing...She is grace to me, she is light to me, she is love.  And for these gifts that she gives so freely, I am so grateful.  I hope that everyone can know this type of person in their lives.

But I digress...

Back to my wandering in the New Year. - As I mentioned, I was feeling discombobulated, but not upset at the uneasy feeling....just like I was calmly treading water, enjoying the cool wet, waiting for a sign as to which way to swim.  AND...I am still here, treading water, but after speaking with my friend, I am sure that meditation is vital to my soul right now.  I've been thinking about it for a couple days.  I've noticed references to meditation in books and articles that I've been reading, and then my friend mentioned it tonight, AGAIN!  I see that as a pretty straight-forward sign for me to follow. 

When questioned about my resolutions earlier this week I was uncertain as to how to reply.  I knew that something different was stirring within me, and  while I wasn't quite clear what is was...I felt uncertain and so I rested on a prayer that rang true to me:

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

This is my prayer for us all...and as for me personally....

HAPPINESS...HAPPINESS is what I will pursue this year....I am open and willing to "be" and to "share"

All my best to each of you in the New Year!

~Autumn

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